Habits Should Only Be Used By Nuns
What happens to you physiologically and emotionally when you can’t feed one of your habits on any given day? Do you need a Xanax? I have a brother, whom I love dearly, but who can’t make a travel arrangement without knowing what his tee-time is upon arrival. Are you freaking kidding me? My own habit is coffee in the morning and I could have the Ebola Virus and be bleeding out, but I still have to make that coffee. Why? Because it is an ingrained behavior, it requires no thought and it fulfills a need.
Are you attached to your habits? If you can’t function during the day without feeding your habit-well then, yeah, you’re stuck. Take a chance and see if you can go 24hrs. without giving into a negative habit, i.e., biting your nails, negative self-talk, complaining, scrubbing the bathroom, whatever it is that feeds the monster on a daily basis, go without and see what happens.
But What About My Good Habits?
This is the clichéd, “but its good for me” excuse. What happens to you when you don’t get to the gym or you don’t have time to make the perfect green juicy in the morning? Do you lose your mind or does it ruin your day? If so then you have an unhealthy attachment to a good habit. Washing hands and brushing teeth are good habits. If you walk out of a department store bathroom without having washed your hands, does your heart rate accelerate? Just saying!
Leave the Velcro Behind
Personally I love how Diane Lane leaves it all behind and heads off to Italy to find her true happiness Under The Tuscan Sky. What Ms. Lane was able to do was detach. Easier said than done but when you think about it, how many of us hold on to things that no longer serve our pursuit of happiness? Negative emotions, terrible jobs, toxic relationships; these are all part of having attachments that don’t serve our needs. Now, I am not advocating that anyone jilted in a relationship check into his or her frequent flyer miles, but I am looking at why we hold on to the things we hold on to and more importantly, how putting down the Velcro can free you.
Signs that you might have an “Attachment Disorder”
You own a sleep number bed.
Ok, not really, but if your need to be comfortable outweighs all else than you might want to rethink. Comfort breeds complacency and complacency eventually breeds resentment. Change only happens outside the comfort zone and while it is natural to want to be “comfortable” true success and exhilaration happens when we dare to desire, when we dare to explore. Success lies on the other side of comfort.
I was wwwrrrrooonnnngggg… You can’t admit to being wrong.
My apologies to those of you born after 1980; you might not get the reference but Fonzi from Happy Days, just could not admit to being wrong. It took quite a few precious screen minutes for him to get the admission out. Do you see yourself in this proclamation? Are you attached to being right all the time? What about, instead of having to be right, think about actually finding out what is true. Seek the truth about your reality, instead of imposing your need to be right on all those with whom you share your space. Trust me-admitting to being wrong is rather liberating. It not only makes us more human it makes us more trustworthy.
Go Ahead and Tear Off The Mattress Tag
For some reason there is a “penalty by law” for removal of mattress tags. I am not sure why but I can only hope for a global “tear off your mattress tag” day to see if there are international SWAT teams that descend upon us. I am sure there is a very reasonable reason for this but I can’t figure it out. How often do we take attachments to “things” for face value? How often do we believe that something terrible will happen if we don’t follow the rules? How often do we decide that we can’t live without something or even someone? Attachment is limiting. Examine your tendencies and determine which are impeding your progress. Be willing to change and accept another viewpoint. Many attachments are pleasurable in the short-term, but painful in the long-term. Release your attachments, tear off the tags and liberate thyself.
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